Short Story #1 Reflection
Reflecting on the feedback I’ve received for 1600m, this writing process has been an exciting balance between building tension and deepening character development. One area where the story has resonated is in its depiction of perseverance and personal struggle, though there are still aspects that could be enhanced.
My initial focus on the race and practice scenes seems to have engaged readers, but the rension could be amplified further. I particularly like the suggestion to include a moment of pre-race nerves, such as my protagonist putting on her spikes and dealing with the need to pee. That small, humanizing detail could offer a brief release of tension, only heighten it again as the race draws near. It’s important that the pacing stays dynamic, with moments of rising tension and quick releases to keep the reader hooked.
In terms of the family dynamic, I don’t want to add siblings, as the atory’s conflict revolves around the protagonist’s relationship with her parents. However, incorporating more about how she feels invisible or unappreciated by her family, and perhaps ending with a subtle moment of seeing her mother at the race (holding her least favorite Gatorade), could powerfully tie together teh theme of trying to prove herself to her family. This suggestion strikes a balance between showing her internal struggles and giving a slight not to external validation.
One of the recurring ideas from feedback is the need to show—not tell—the pressure my protagonist feels. The introduction of more race details, especially in the middle of the race, can help with this. Having her second-guess whether she’s pacing herself right, pr battling with thoughts of self-doubt, would draw readers further into her mindset. Incorporating more physical sensations, like shin splints or mental effort it takes to stay focused on her race plan, could deepen the reader’s connection to her journey.
Lastly, there’s room to clarify the timeline. I love the diea of inserting a minor countdown from practice to race day and expanding on her experience between the team dinner and the morning of the race. Bringing the reader into her sleepless night, maybe with a flashback, her anxious morning, and even her struggle to eat could build a stronger connection to her inner world and heighten the stakes. I want the readers to feel the weight of her preparation, right up to that final race.
Moving forward, my focus will be on enriching the protagonist’s personal stakes—both with her family and within herself—ensuring that the pacing and tension ebb and flow in a way that keeps readers invested. The story’s next draft will explore these areas more fully, aiming got an even stronger emotional resonance.
